J’en ai marre ! How to Complain like a French Person

1. It’s a Right: French people generally see complaining when something is wrong not as a personal attack, but as a legitimate and necessary right to complain. If something isn’t up to standard, it must be pointed out.
2. Directness, Not Aggression: Culturally, the French way is to be direct and to the point. Initial complaints are usually firm but not aggressive.
3. Formality (Vous): Always use vous (the formal “you”) and language “soutenu” i.e. speak correctly, no slang. Maintaining this formal distance often lends more weight to your complaint.
4. Logical Argument: French complaints often involve laying out the facts logically: “This was expected, this is what happened, therefore, this is the problem, and this is what should be done.”
5. Persistence: Don’t expect a quick fix if it’s a big issue. Persistence is key. From experience, I can confidently confirm that complaints in France often require tenacity. Be prepared!

Once you have understood that consumer satisfaction is not a major cultural priority (as in the UK or USA) throughout France – the culture surrounding this is generally different, especially in rural areas. The consumer is definitely NOT King. Once you grasp this concept, the whole complaints process should be easier to understand. It can be frustrating learning how it differs, but do keep your cool – and the cardboard box your item came in!!!!

Yes, really. Often, firms will want this to send the item away for repair – do not expect a replacement item! I like to think of this as being much better for the environment – imagine what happens in the UK with countless exchanges of faulty goods!

1. Initial Approach – Polite but Firm:

• “Excusez-moi de vous déranger, mais j’ai un petit problème.” (Excuse me for bothering you, but I have a small problem.)
  • Use this when the issue isn’t major, or as a softer opening.
• “Bonjour. Je viens vous voir car il y a un souci avec…” (Hello. I’m coming to see you because there’s an issue with…)
  • Standard, direct opening.
• “Je suis désolé(e), mais ce n’est pas ce que j’ai commandé/ce n’est pas correct.” (I’m sorry, but this is not what I ordered/this is not correct.)
  • Good for mistakes in orders.
• “Il semble qu’il y ait une erreur.” (It seems there’s a mistake.)

1. Explaining the Problem – Be Specific:

• “Le plat est froid.” (The dish is cold.)
• “Il manque un article.” (An item is missing.)
• “Ceci est cassé / endommagé.” (This is broken/damaged.)
• “J’ai attendu X minutes/heures.” (I have waited X minutes/hours.)
• “C’est la deuxième fois que ça arrive.” (This is the second time this has happened.)
• “Je ne suis pas satisfait(e) de…” (I am not satisfied with…)
• “La qualité n’est pas au rendez-vous.” (The quality is not up to par / not what was expected.)

1. Expressing Dissatisfaction/Indignation:

• “Ce n’est pas normal !” (That’s not normal!) – A very common and versatile exclamation.
• “Je suis très déçu(e).” (I am very disappointed.)
• “Je trouve ça un peu fort de café !” (I find that a bit rich/unbelievable!) – More informal, used when something is outrageous.
• “C’est une blague ?” (Is this a joke?) – Used when you’re truly astonished by the incompetence or situation.

1. Demanding Action/Resolution:

• “Que comptez-vous faire ?” (What do you intend to do?)
• “Je souhaite que vous changiez/remplaciez [l’article/le plat].” (I wish you to change/replace [the item/dish].)
• “Je demande un remboursement.” (I demand a refund.)
• “Je voudrais parler au responsable.” (I would like to speak to the manager/person in charge.) – Classic escalation.
• “Ce n’est pas ma faute, c’est la vôtre.” (It’s not my fault, it’s yours.) – To deflect blame firmly.
• “Je refuse de payer pour ça.” (I refuse to pay for that.)
• “J’exige une solution.” (I demand a solution.)

Typical Situations

1. In a Shop (Damaged item, poor service, wrong price):

• Approach: Go to the counter/customer service. “Bonjour. J’ai un problème.”
• Complaint: “J’ai acheté ceci hier, et c’est déjà cassé / il y a un défaut.” (I bought this yesterday, and it’s already broken / there’s a defect.) Or, “Le prix affiché n’est pas le même que le prix en caisse. Ce n’est pas normal !” (The price displayed isn’t the same as the price at the register. That’s not normal!)

2. With Administration/Bureaucracy (Missing documents, unfulfilled promises, long waits):

• Approach: Can be the most challenging. Be armed with all your documents. Bureaucracy is nationally recognised as notoriously “compliqué” – it is complex, often with officials themselves giving conflicting advice, and rules do differ throughout France!
• Complaint: “Bonjour Madame/Monsieur. J’ai un rendez-vous à X heure. Cela fait maintenant X minutes/heures que j’attends. Est-ce normal ?” (Hello Madam/Sir. I have an appointment at X o’clock. I have now been waiting X minutes/hours. Is this normal?) Or, “Mon dossier n’a pas été traité / Je n’ai pas reçu [document X] comme prévu.” (My file hasn’t been processed / I haven’t received [document X] as expected.)
• Mannerism: Patient but persistent. State facts. If necessary, a sigh or an exasperated “Enfin !” (Finally!) or “Ce n’est pas possible !” (It’s not possible!)
• Expected outcome: An explanation, an apology, and hopefully, progress on your issue. Be prepared to ask for names and departments.

• Excessive politeness/apologies: While “Excusez-moi” is fine as an opener, don’t over-apologise for having a legitimate complaint. It can be seen as weakness.
• Smiling too much: A constant smile might be interpreted as you not being serious about the complaint. (Super tricky for me!!)
• Assuming the “customer is king”: While, for the most part, your custom is valued, it’s about getting what you’re owed, not necessarily an over-the-top apology and freebies.
• Do not be rude or abusive: It is not the employee’s fault. Complaining can be tricky in any culture and situation, so always maintain decorum. It’s just the right thing to do, regardless.

That said, because I am oh-so typically British, I can rarely bring myself to complain! If absolutely necessary, I have always muddled through with my typically British politeness and our stereotypically apologetic manner, smiling at every turn, and thankfully, everyone has always been thoroughly lovely!

Best of British! / Bonne chance !